A Thousand Reasons
by Glamagirl
Summary: Chris/Stephanie. He has been watching her… he had always been watching her.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own anyone in the story, they belong to one another… or so I heard.

**A/N**: I got inspired for this little story after listening to a song called 'Aunque estes con el' by Luis Fonsi, yeah it's in Spanish but it's so full of smoochy that I couldn't help it! I decided to give it a try now that I have the time to write, I hope you like it and I hope my smoochy muses are not too rusty ;)

**A Thousand Reasons…**

He has been watching her… he had always been watching her.

it wasn't like he could help it; at this point of his life his eyes would follow her as if they had a life of their own, as if an alien entity that wanted nothing but to torture his already shattered soul had taken control of his body the moment they first meet just to force his eyes to follow her.

It wasn't in him; he had no choice but to watch.

By now his cobalt blue orbs were trained in the arts of her, they knew when she was near and as soon as they picked up her approaching presence they would dart to her, drinking in her silhouette as she walked by.

It was a routine now, a way of life taken by circumstances that shouldn't have been. He was, he sensed and he watched; then, before he could do anything else she was gone.

She was always gone.

Dragging his fingers through his short blonde hair, Chris forced his eyes to move away from the empty corridor she disappeared into, focusing on the wall in front of him instead, the blank, plain wall…

The truth was that he was tired of that compulsive routine; he was tired of being the weak one, the one that always watched while she was the one who moved on, the one who kept walking as he watched…

And as much as he had tried he couldn't stop himself from doing it; he was always in the same predicament, watching as she kept going, always one step behind of her when he wanted to be one step ahead.

He wanted to be where he once was, he wanted to be his old self instead of the empty shell he was now, a carcass of a man that did nothing but watch.

So very deep into his thoughts he has been that when he realized that he was up to his feet and walking in the direction she had gone into he was a bit puzzled; but it seemed that as much as he didn't have control of his eyes he didn't have control of his legs either.

There was nothing to do, he was drawn to her; even if she had no idea her body magnetized his every cell, calling him, luring him after her.

A prisoner of his own body he had no choice on the matter, so he allowed his determined legs to carry him closer to her. In that manner, silent as a shadow he followed her, guarding his distance and watching as her graceful movements lead her towards her improvised office for the night.

While his legs moved him forward he tilted his head a bit to the side, noticing that the reason she was unaware of everything around her was because she was engrossed in some papers she was holding in her hands, she was reading from them and that gave him the opportunity to follow her without her knowledge.

It gave him the opportunity to drink from her appearance even when her back was to him. That night she had her hair down, cascading down her back in soft waves… he would bet on anything that if he had the chance of running his fingers through it he would find it soft and silky.

Her hips were also hypnotizing and he moved his eyes to them, watching them swing as she walked, the echo of her footsteps resonating through the corridor.

Stephanie… he watched her, as he always did, but this time he did a bit more and he followed her, all the way through the corridor until she made it to her destination and closed the door, leaving him out.

As he stood there, lurking in one corner and contemplating her door he leered around, trying to spot if there was someone who could witness Chris Jericho at his lowest, acting like a stalker… the line that kept him from being obsessive to pathetic blurring in his mind.

Luckily there was no one to see, just him and the knowledge that he had reached a low point in his life.

Taking a few steps and looking around to make sure no one was coming he approached the door, his hand lifting to the door handle and turning it until it opened.

This too he did in silence, and it was only when he closed the door behind him that she turned around and noticed him.

"Chris… you scared me" She said, taking a brief look at him before turning around to put the papers she has been reading on top of a bunch of boxes besides the desk. She didn't seem scared… he didn't know what she looked like but it wasn't scared. "What are you doing here?"

The blonde Canadian locked the door and took the steps that he needed to take to be closer; walking to her until he was right behind her. "I just wanted to see you" He said, plain and simple, fighting the urge to lift his hand and touch her hair.

He didn't touch her, he just watched as her shoulders dropped and her head moved the sightless, then she turned back to him. "We talked about this Chris…"

"I know" How could he forget? The conversation was like a broken disc inside his head that would go on repeat over and over again. It was enough to drive him crazy, especially when he knew every word of that conversation to be a mistake.

"Then why are you here?"

Chris bit on his lower lip, his eyes delving deep into hers. There was so much to say… he didn't even know where to start. "You look beautiful"

"Chris" She breathed out, closing her eyes as if not to lose her patience with him. "That was unprofessional and in case you forgot we are strictly professional"

"Professional…" He snorted bitterly, pursing his lips and moving an inch closer to her. "How can you say that after all we've been through, or is it that you are the one forgetting things? I remember and I remember everything" He hissed.

Stephanie shook her head and opened her eyes to stare at the ceiling. "Don't do this Chris…"

"Don't do what? Because for the longest time I haven't done anything and I'm tired of it Steph" He said placing both hands against the wall at each side of her. "I'm tired of watching you from afar"

Looking everywhere but to him, Stephanie sighed; he didn't get why she looked so exasperated while he was feeling desperate. "We agreed to this Chris, you even said it was for the best…"

"I was wrong" He said through clenched teeth, trying to control the feeling that was rising within him. He knew what he said, and ever since that night he has been regretting those words.

Yes he agreed to everything that was said, but to that day he didn't know why. Maybe it was because he was feeling guilty that he has been sleeping with a married woman while he had been married himself, maybe he thought he could get over her… whatever it was he had been so wrong.

Forgetting her was impossible; time has proven to be the worse medicine…

"We were wrong" He took her chin in his hands and forced her to look at him. In that position her face was barely below his, her eyes wild and shining locked with his.

"We made the right decision, you know it…"

"Are you happy with that decision? Because I'm not. I have to go by everyday watching you walk by, wanting to follow you, to notice me… and I've tried to fight it off for the longest time and I just can't"

At his words Stephanie just closed her eyes again, shaking her head as she did before. She didn't said anything so he kept on, spilling his heart out.

"I can tell myself how this was for the best and sometimes I believe it is for the best, but then I see you and I know that there's no way I can control what I feel for you"

"Stop it Chris" She said, her voice a soft whisper against his face. He moved his hand from her chin to her cheek, enjoying the way her soft skin felt underneath his fingers… he had missed it, he had missed all of her.

While his hand remembered in touch he took a good look at her face, he could say that her walls were crumbling, he wanted them down. "Why stop? I made that mistake before"

Stephanie opened her turbulent eyes to him. "I'm married… I can't go through the same thing again, you know this Chris…"

"Then leave him"

Stephanie blinked… back to the time when they would sneak around to be in each other's arms he had never told her such a thing, he had hoped she would make that decision by her own but when weeks turned into months and the months into years he gave up that hope, he learned to live with the phantom of that other man behind his back. "I can't do that"

"Why not?" He once thought that he could never leave his wife until the day he found himself asking for a divorce… but then it has been too late, by then Stephanie was no longer part of his life. "You don't love him, not like you love me"

"This is not about love…"

"Damn it Stephanie" Chris grunted, punching the wall behind her. She flinched but didn't move away and he took a deep breath to calm himself. "This has everything to do with love! For Christ sake, I have tried to come up with a thousand reasons of why I need to forget you, I invented a million ways not think about you and you say this has nothing to do with love.

"I think it's better if you leave"

Chris took a deep breath and moved away from her, just two steps away. He thought about it… it had always been like this, she was stubborn and that was going to be the end of her, just like it has been the end of him.

He shook his head. He could make it without her, he just needed to pick up the pieces and move on… but he didn't want to, if she didn't want to leave Paul he could still be with her, they did it once before and everything had been fine, they had been happy…

Maybe it was an illusion of happiness but it was more than what he had now.

"I love you and I won't stop loving you just because you insist of being with him…" He took a deep breath. "And what's sad is that I'm even willing to take whatever you are willing to give…" He shook his head and dragged his hand down his face. He was truly pathetic; she had made him that way.

"I can't… give you anything"

He looked back at her, she was just standing there, chewing on her lower lip. He took in her image for a few seconds. That was it… there was no more for him.

He nodded and took a step toward the door, but then he halted, turned around and walked to her. He didn't give her time, he just went to her and when he was close enough he captured her lips with his.

She didn't fight it, as soon as the contact was made she wrapped an arm around his neck and granted him entrance pass her lips.

He took what she gave, deepening the kiss and drinking on the feeling that was kissing the woman he loved. It has been such a long time and wanted to savor every second, the taste of her, they way her body molded to his…

This was the way it was supposed to be, just the two of them giving in to each other.

He took the opportunity and moved one hand to her hair, burying his fingers though her silky strands, pulling her even more into him. She was like he remembered; maybe even better, she was everything that he ever wanted.

He could stay like this, kissing her forever but he also wanted to reach to her… so pulling away from the kiss he swallowed hard and watched her.

She was with her eyes closed and her face flushed… there had been so many times that he had seen that face… "As long as I know that you feel for me as I feel for you I won't walk away, as long as your body responds to mine like this I won't let go"

"We can't do this" She said, pressing her forehead against his.

He placed a finger against her lips. "Why do you have to be so stubborn?" He asked pulling away. She was still with her eyes closed and when his hand brushed her hair off her face she took in a shaky breath. "Steph"

She shook her head and pouted her lips, if she was going to say something it got lost when he brushed his lips to hers before fully kissing her.

They had made a mistake but he was going to fix it… a kiss was a start and by the way she was responding he could say that it was a good start to something that shouldn't have stopped in the first place.

He was no longer going to be content with just watching her, he wanted more.

"I love you" He mumbled against her lips before resuming the kiss. He loved her, it has never been a matter of that as it hadn't been a matter of she loving him back.

He knew her heart, he was her heart...

Now, this time he was going to do everything in his power to get back to her, but this time he wanted her all for himself…

"Leave him" He whispered, a plead…

Stephanie wrapped both arms around him. "I will… I'll leave him, I love you"

~*FIN*~


End file.
